How Do You Solve A Problem?

Inspired by “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?” — music by Richard Rodgers, lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II.

After the Sound of Music, How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?

When I’m with him, I’m in love.
Out of my mind and overthinking
And I never know exactly what to do.
I’m trying to work out his demeanour
He’s as tall as a tower
He’s an angel, he’s a sculpture, he’s work of art.
We other think every action.
Rehearse out next steps.
He could write a love story with all these events.
He is gentle, he is tough.
He is a mystery, I’m lost
He is a player
He is human.
He is a man.

How do you solve a problem like Mr. Christian Bad Boy?
How to you get a hopeless romantic to show his heart?
How do you find a song that means Mr. Christian Bad Boy?
A friend. A lover. A husband.

Many a thing I know I’d like to tell him.
Many a thing I hope he’d understand
But how do I make him say he loves me.
How do I show him I want to listen to what he has to say?

How do I keep a man like him interested?
How do I hold a man like him in my heart?
How do I love a man like him forever?
How do I solve a problem like Mr. Christian Bad Boy?
How do I hold his love in my heart?
Ugh. This man is insufferable.

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This work includes a transformative parody drawing inspiration from well-known cultural materials. It is entirely unaffiliated with, and not endorsed or approved by, the original creators, rights holders, or their estates. All referenced songs, trademarks, characters, and titles remain the property of their respective owners and are used solely for non-commercial parody purposes under applicable fair dealing/fair use provisions.