The lunar light shone bright on her under that icy winter moonlight. She felt the light. She felt it. It warmed her heart and seared away the sorrow. In that moment, she felt peace. The breeze blew her hair and the cold caressed her lips. The lips too stiff to speak up for herself.
She looked out the window wondering when you will come home and whose scent will you bring with you. Some days, you brought seasons, I could have sworn I smelt spring in you. The fresh scents of daffodils and tulips. An array of spring but it wasn’t my scent. You bought another woman’s essence into our matrimonial home.
You have been doing this for years. With the knowledge that she loved the player who was too immersed in playing games. You knew her courage was weak.
But tonight… tonight? Tonight she conversed with her heart and she knew what to do. She didn’t want to do it. She really didn’t. She didn’t want to leave. But she did. Although her courage and strength was dried up. In fact, it was drained. You drained her like spaghetti in a sieve. You took the life out of her. You took her time. You took her love. You took her identity. She lost herself all because she was trying to keep you.
So each night when you went out, she practised positive affirmations and built her worth. Although you tore her self-esteem, trampled it to the ground and used it as rags.
She learnt to wash it, iron it and sew the rag into a patchwork quilt. She did that on the night she left you.
She left because she realised she is only responsible for herself. She realised her happiness was not rooted in you.
She left because she realised there is a world of opportuniities for her to realise her potential and be who she always wanted to be.
She left because this choice will lead her to the discovery of her happiness.
Unhappiness ate her up inside. It then left a bitter ulcer in her stomach and she vomited the bile of venomousness.
Yet in the name of the sickness of love, she realised that she could be healed.
The victory in her leaving you had no closure. No notes, no letters and certainly no explanations.
She left you to search your conscience for in your hearts of hearts you knew.
You knew the reasons of why she left.
When Carmen left you.